If you've read this before, I commend you on your memory.
Every year at Christmas, the scene is set by certain trappings. And, for the most part, these are welcomed by people as giving a nice festive feel to the world. True, people complain about having to put their decorations up, they moan that the shops have started Christmas too early, they worry that their shopping is not yet done, and that there are 5,224 cards still to write. But, the truth is, these are all things that people do not because they have to, but rather because they choose to do so. The truth is, people secretly like all the fuss and nonsense surrounding Christmas.
However, there is one element of Christmas that people don't like, yet one that is as quintessential an element of the Christmas experience as is not watching the Queen's Speech. I'm talking, of course, about the brussel sprout.
There it is, a little green ball of foulness, nestled at the side of your plate of turkey dinner and all the trimmings, silently setting the scene, reminding you that verily, 'tis the season. And, every year, millions of people bemoan their sprouts, and cruelly cast them aside, consigning them to the ignominy of the bin, sealed away to the mocking laughter of their more popular vegetable kin.
No more, I say! This humblest of vegetables has gone unrecognised long enough, enduring the scorn and mockery of we merry-makers long enough!
This year, let us all take a moment on Christmas Day to reflect on the contribution of the Sprout to our season. Let us tip our heads in a silent gesture of respect to this gentleman of the vegetable kingdom, and acknowledge all those departed sprouts, whose sacrifice should not have been in vain.
Will you join me?
11 comments:
Sadly no, I shall not join you. Foe sprouts are almost as untrustworthy as mushrooms in my book...
What's wrong with mushrooms?
You don't know what is wrong with them?! They are slimy and crunchy, both at the same time and I don't think you can trust a vegetable like that!
Ah, but the mushroom knows that it appears suspicious, and so knows it can't get away with anything. So, paradoxically, you can trust them.
It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Like parsnips.
Aah! PARSNIPS!!
I have had a bad experience with brussel sprouts. I shall elaborate, yet you do not need to read on.
I have a brussel sprout every year. One. So, on the 1st of January last year my mum gave me brussel sprouts with my turkey dinner (we get a LARGE turkey). So I ate one.
She proceeded to give me more on subsequent days, but I digress.
At my work's night out on Friday, I had the stuffed (with mushrooms, mmm) pepper thing to start, and then the chicken thing for main. Which came with brussel sprouts. Oh no! The system, ruined already by January's farce, takes another huge setback. I was forced to eat them. What made it worse was that Leigh didn't bother eating hers. Snsn frsn.
In case you don't believe me about the system, I will tell you that I have a reminder set on my phone to go off on Christmas Eve to remind me that I've eaten a sprout already this year. That's how serious it is.
How did I end up being related to such randomers!
I like sprouts!!!
Come on, parsnips are far too stupid to be untrustworthy! No, it is mushrooms you need to watch; and if they know they appear suspicious then it is just arrogant of them to keep up that appearance, and arrogance has never been something I deal with well.
Ric - it really sounds as though you have eaten far more sprouts than your quota allows so why not go on a sprout strike for the next ten years to sort it out?
Mushrooms - technically not a veg but still nice.
Sliced Parsnip - greatest thing since sliced bread.
Brussels? Boak!
Seriously if you like Brussel sprouts (or Brussels sprouts... I never know which) then you are probably one of those people who don't have the correct chemical receptor in your mouth to taste their foulness.
And it has been scientifically proven that the people who do have these receptors are more intelligent, better looking, etc...
I rest my case, such as it is.
Yeah, perhaps a brussel strike is in order.
I'm with Welsherella on the mushroom thing- definitely a minion of evil, rather like nut-roast! However, I always eat lots of sprouts- organic ones just out the ground are lovely and my mother does them beautifully. However I went to a Beefeater last week and the monstrosities which came with my meal were the most acrid foul tasting things ever, and if that's what the majority of people eat, then I can understand the fear!
Parsnips are stolid anyway, not stupid.
It's a world of vegetable difference.
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